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What is this blog about, and who is it for?

/ Gracie Sunderland

What is this blog about, and who is it for?

This blog was born because I couldn’t find anything like it. I started it as a single British woman in my late thirties, living with my two primary age children when we had just moved to Denmark. As of 2024, I am in my mid-40s, with all the joyful tween and teen years for my children that entails. And whilst we are still in Denmark, my career means that I expect to move countries in the coming years.

I started this blog through a love and interest in the Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE) community. However, whenever I needed advice or a community to talk to about being a great single parent, living on a budget, or planning my side hustle, I struggled to find information that resonated. Sometimes it was because I’m single; other times, because I felt I had a different ethical approach which I didn’t see reflected. If you have similar needs, or just want to see a real story of personal and financial growth during what sometimes feels like times of real challenge, I hope this blog can be a great space for you too.

I cover several main topics focused on financial independence, personal finance, social justice and lifestyle management all through my own personal journey:

My Personal Financial Journey: I walk you through my own experiences and challenges as a single mother working towards financial independence. This includes dealing with emergencies, budgeting, and managing household expenses​, as well as making long term financial decisions for my children and wider family.

Financial Tips and Strategies: Whilst I don’t give advice I aim to provide practical thoughts on money management, including tips on setting up an emergency fund, being savvy with money. I also share how I try to spend mindfully toward the life I want to create, whilst optimizing on spending like meal planning, travel, and activities with my children.

Financial Planning: I also share my own journey of planning for the short, medium and long term, looking at retirement planning, raising money savvy kids, and preparing for my children and other loved ones’ financial futures. A lot of this links to career planning and how (and why) I think about getting to ‘work optional’.

FIRE Community and Inspiration: Whilst not everything resonates, I have found a great FIRE community  with a lot of inspirational stories and resources from well-known figures in the community, such as Tiffany Aliche (The Budgetnista), Paula Pant, and Mr. Money Mustache. I also regularly share recommendation for podcasts and books that are helpful for financial education and inspiration based on what I am finding interesting and useful as my journey continues.

Policy and Social Justice: Personal finance might be personal but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. I aim to explore policies and trends which impact on our money including cost of living issues, issues impacting the stock market, and changes in budgets and taxation relevant to a UK audience. I also focus on social justice and how I understand that neither how we make or spend money is the same for everyone.

Goal Setting and Accountability: I highlight and give tips on the importance of setting realistic financial goals, having an accountability partner (and what that looks like for single parents particularly), and staying focused on financial plans is a recurring theme. I share my own goal-setting process and regular reflections on progress, both financial and how I am feeling about it all.

Disclaimer: The content on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as financial advice. Please consult with a qualified financial advisor before making any financial decisions.

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2024 Financial Goals

/ Gracie Sunderland / Leave a comment

I don’t like to be rushed 😀 Which is why I’m sharing my financial goals now, three weeks into January. I’ve also been having fun over on my Insta – come join me there for daily tips on finance, saving money, food, mindfulness and more.

In all seriousness – showing up whenever you are ready is fine. There is a lot to be said for just doing it now, and evidence suggests that a lot of people don’t reach their financial (and other goals) because they are procrastinating. But getting to it when you are ready and in the right mindset, rather than on an arbitrary deadline, also puts you in charge.

So let’s focus on getting this done now. I set my financial goals on a call with my accountability partner a couple of weeks ago, and have been fine-tuning them since then. Before I dig in I wanted to share some reflections on discussions with this community and things I have noticed about previous years – these three things are totally linked, and can become a vicious cycle so it’s worth digging into them if you feel stuck:

Don’t procrastinate. Yeah, yeah – getting to things in your own time is different from just not getting there. You know in yourself when you’re getting into the right mindset or moment, and when you’re lying to yourself. This is wher an accountability partner can be great – someone to call you out, lovingly, when you are still ‘waiting for the right time’. With financial issues, procrastination can cost you big time. Compound interest means that the earlier you make a move to save and invest, the more the money will grow to. Inflation means that the money in your hand will likely never be worth more than it is today. Not paying off debt increases the amount you spend on interest (and likely the stress in your mind). Are any of those costs worth it?

If there is anything holding you back, I strongly advise you to find out why you haven’t done it yet – think about your money mindset. People don’t procrastinate because they are lazy or stupid – we all have things which hold us back from making moves, even if they are so embedded in our subconscious that we don’t really understand them. You may be held back by fear or shame (what if I find out I spend all my money on nonesense and I’m embarrassed about what I have wasted up to now?) or by limiting beliefs (What’s the point in budgeting for my food shop – I’m never going to make enough for my big dreams anway). Or by the sense that you’ve tried this before and nothing has stuck. All of these are totally understandable, but they will all just hold you back. So dig into how you feel and spend some time getting your mind right.

Dreaming big is amazing, but make sure it feels meaningful, rather than feeling overwhelming. Setting huge goals is a big driver for many people, and I definitely don’t advocate playing small when setting out your ambitions. Part of the work is to come down a level or two from the big goal and set out smaller approaches on a timeline. I always try and set goals which are realistic with stretch – they aren’t so easy that they will happen even without me getting behind them, but they aren’t so insane that it’s less ‘doing the work’ and more ‘wishful thinking’.

For me, 2024 is a strange year financially as I have to move jobs. My company has mandatory rotation (i.e. you can’t stay in one place for more than five years – it’s more complex than this but this is what it means for me right now) and I haven’t been with them long enough for them to have to find me a job. So by 1st January 2025, I could very easily be out of work. There are many reasons why I don’t believe this will happen, but I do have to find another position, and it will 90% certain mean moving countries. This isn’t unusual for the kids and I, but it’s not very relaxing and also means making other choices with money which prepare for a time when I might not be earning. In addition, my son starts Year 11, or his GCSE exam year in the summer of 2024, meaning if I don’t have a job yet I might have to stay without work until the summer of 2025 when he is done, and move then.

So many moving parts! But my aim is to set financial goals and be ok with trying to get a strong foundation in case the worst happens, whilst preparing for the best.

These might all seem somewhat woolly, but for me this is the first step. Looking at how to save more, be accountable, and stay focused, comes next in terms of building out detailed approaches. But for now I am happy that I have enough focus, and optimism, to make 2024 work for me.

How are your financial goals looking?

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Beach money: investing and risk

/ Gracie Sunderland / Leave a comment

I’m taking a break from the New Year Money guides to riff a little. This week has been filled with stories of stock market crashes, crypto circling the drain, and general doom. Quick reminder that when weeks like this seem long, do join me for mindful money hacks and positivity over on Instagram @brilliant_ladies_money. Now with added Barbies and reggae!

So I wanted to chat a bit about risk, opportunity and how growing into your power means making decisions you really believe in: feeling your way through the different options and trusting that you have your foundations on point, whilst still showing up with courage.

Either way, let’s make it to the beach. Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

If you spend enough time on social media it is easy to believe that we are all missing out on the ability to make easy millions through crypto, NFTs (IKR?), or indeed being eight years old and making videos of oursleves opening gifts. I don’t believe it’s all snake oil though. My parents, like many working class people, refused to have anything to do with investing or the stock market because of deep suspicion, and it harmed their finances in the end. On my mum’s side I think it was partly her left wing politics but for both of them it was definitely lack of trust that the system could benefit them in any way, as well as lack of confidence. I think I’m the only person in my family to have investments, and it still causes my mum to freak out.

I thought a lot of this was historical, but a study by Forbes shows that 65% of people aged 18-40 say that investing in the stock market is scary or intimidating. But this is the interesting thing about perceived risks: that age group is also the most likely to be familiar with cryptocurrencies; have holdings or expect to buy crypto in the future. There are a lot of brave investors out there as well who see engagement with Wall Street as part of the great Battle Between Good and Evil. Whilst it’s not totally clear who is on which side, the pandemic, climate change and heated global politics means it’s not hard to get the sense that the End of Days are on the way. This week was the anniversary of GameStop – the memestock phenomenon that saw average small investors drive up the price of GameStop shares by 1,700% through enouragement on reddit. If you are interested in hearing more about that, and about understanding the ethics of engaging with the stock market and how to impact it, I really recommend Paula Pant’s podcast on the topic.

Whatever you do, make sure you understand the risks. Photo by janilson furtado on Unsplash

After a few years of investing – and freaking out, and sometimes doing stupid things – here’s what I learnt:

Your portfolio should have different options depending on your risk tolerance based on what you want that money for and the consequences of losing it. There is room for both the tortoise and the hare here: room indeed even for the Pink Fairy Armadillo. The question is choosing the right vehicle for your money at any particular point. If you are socking money away for retirement you already know:

  • What your time horizon is, and probably that you have a long period to invest meaning that you can choose vehicles which take a longer time to generate a return, as well as needing to factor in inflation. The long horizon also makes it wise to look at tax implications since you will, hopefully, be making a bunch of money over a long period.
  • That you need to be sure there will be money by the time you retire, so your risk tolerance will likely change as you get closer to the date and you will have a chance to rebalance so it makes sense to find a mechanism which allows that.
  • The consequences of not investing wisely would have a massive impact on the later seasons of your life. If you lose your retirement fund, it increases the likelihood that you will have to work way, way past when you want to and are more at the mercy of health issues, not able to help out adult children and so on. Basically, it’s not where we want to end up, and for my generation who worked 15-20 years before pension auto-enrollment but will probably get to retirement after the State Pension has gone up in smoke, it is a very real destination.

Balancing the options therein should get the balance between comfort and discomfort.

  • Get the very basics right first. If you have a clear saving and investing strategy for the money you have coming in based on hierarchy you will create a foundational level of comfort which frees you to be courageous elsewhere. Allocate the money that needs to be there to pay your bills, keep your kids fed and a roof over your heads, and it removes a whole load of late-night anxiety. This money is not something you need to invest anywhere, at any time. Keep it accessible, and spend it – it’s what you made it for. Check out my post on working out your fixed outgoings, and go from there.
  • Prepare for emergencies. I am a total catastrophiser. I think working in the humanitarian sector for so long, coupled with a few unexpected life disasters and an overactive imagination means that the only answer I ever have to the question ‘what could possibly go wrong’ is ‘EVERY DAMN THING’! Whether you think they are coming or not, having rainy day money, or an emergency fund, means that you won’t be thrown off course by a broken down car, month without work, or whatever else. Keep it accessible but don’t spend it unless you have to – it’s there to protect you later on. As I say to my kids, boredom is not an emergency.
Beauty has foundations and grandeur. Work out what needs to be where to hit the right balance. Photo by Johannes Ludwig on Unsplash

After that, base decisions on what you are prepared to lose.

  • Optimism bias means that we are programmed to think about what we have to gain. Negative Nelly over here says – but what about what you might lose? There is a reason though why this is the right question to ask when thinking about investing. With the examples above of retirement, monthly costs and emergency funds, the answers are quite different. The risk balance for retirement is also cushioned by the longer time horizon, and by the fact that (hopefully) you can delay using that money by a few months or years if you need to ride out an occurance in the market.
  • Conversely working this out gives you a whole load of freedom for other pots of money. I have a few super high risk investments which have all been done with what I call beach money. This is money where if I lose it all it means I can’t take my kids to the beach for a holiday – not that we can’t pay our rent. It means I can be brave (or ill informed, let’s be fair) and it really doesn’t matter. I have about $10,000 of beach money investments across angel investments and crypto, and I only really think about it when I am getting antsy that I might be missing out on something.

Working out your priorities means you will create a framework in which you can have certainty and risk where you need to. Let me know how you balance this out, I love hearing from you!

Budget Check In: May

/ Gracie Sunderland

May has been AMAZING weather wise – sunny and warm, beautiful blue skies and suddenly every single plant in Copenhagen has sprung into stunning lush greenness. We’ve been swimming in the sea a few times (ok, it’s still freezing but it’s refreshing and the sand is warm and it’s totally worth it). Getting into the last months at this rented house and doing a lot of decluttering, and winding down to the end of the school year. So a busy month, and one which feels a bit more positive – change is a’coming.

Hurray for May! Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

Budget wise, it’s been better than last month but still not amazing. My daughter’s birthday is in May, and whilst I bought most of her gifts in April I paid for her party this month. Last year we did a COVID-friendly budget party at home but this year I am so crazy with work and getting ready to move that I figured I would just throw money at the problem. She had a wonderful party, and I didn’t have to clean up afterward, so it was worth it!

Item Monthly BudgetSpend May% of monthly budget
Childcare costs £           1,100.00 £       872.7175
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £              125.00 £                –  0
Charity £                 66.67 £          14.8822
Eating out £              120.00 £       241.96202
Entertainment – subscription £                 50.00 £          79.37159
Entertainment £              100.00 £       156.19156
Kids – extra curricular £              250.00 £                –  0
Family £                 50.00 £          22.3745
Groceries £              400.00 £       855.33214
Holidays  £              300.00 £       489.59116
Insurance £              200.00 £                –  0
Personal care £                 30.00 £       185.30618
Shopping – general £                 25.00 £          45.58182
Shopping – gifts incl birthdays £                 58.33 £       951.721632
Shopping – clothes £                 29.17 £          72.15247
Rent and Bills £           1,500.00 £       1000 0
Transport £                 41.67 £       138.92333
Utilities £              200.00 £    1,559.59780
TOTALS £       4,645.83 £    5,886.65130

So, once again I overspent my budget BUT by much less than last month. I spent £5,886 against a budget of £4,645:

  • I realise that I have radically under-estimated gifts, parties and what not for my children’s birthdays. In my mind, I am a super frugal righteous parent, but that’s not who I am in real life. There are definitely elements of making up for the lack of family in there – they don’t get gifts from their dad or his family, and only from my mum and brother. So there’s a lot to make up for. I only get them things they will really love / use, so even though there is an element of guilt, it doesn’t feel wasteful.
  • Grocery spend continues to be way over. I need to properly focus on this, but will do so when we move to the new house and I get a bit of head-space. Currently we’re just getting by – I’ll get to it.
  • Utility bills were insane this month and will probably be terrible next month as I tie up everything we owe for this place. I had huge bills on water – where the company asked me to pay for the whole year up front even though I said I would be moving out in July, um no thanks – and also on heating. I hope the new house has cheaper bills than here, but if not, it will be worth putting some time into fixing whatever the issues are.
  • I spent again on personal care including visits to osteopath. This is something I should be able to claim back, but for now I will leave it here and balance it at the end of the quarter.
  • Finally I spent a bit more on transport due to bike issues, but I love my bike and get a huge amount of value out of it, so I will live with this.
Sea-swimming, Copenhagen style. Photo by Kevin Angelsø on Unsplash
 Monthly saving planMay% of plan
Mortgage (UK house)  £                500 £              500100
Mortgage Overpayment  £                500 £              500100
Emergency Fund  £                  100 £               100100
ISA £               1,250 £               50040
Kids savings £                   248 £               248100
SIPP £                   300 £               300100
  £   2,898.00 £ 2,348.0087

So what did I save? Again I focused on getting the last of the money together for our house move in July, so I have just been putting extra into my current account to make sure the money is there for whatever comes up. No great savings news then, but at least I carried on with the usual basics which is still savings (or paying toward capital) of £ 2,348.

So this month, a very unimpressive savings rate of 20% compared to spending 80%. July will also likely be odd due to the move but in August I am going to revise the budget and properly commit to it.

How was your May? Would love to hear from you!

Budget Check In: April

/ Gracie Sunderland

Ah April! Season of – well, we’re in Denmark, so season of sunshine plus snow showers plus beautiful blossoms whilst still having to wear a scarf and gloves. Personally it has been a mixed month as well. My step dad had an accident and fell down the stairs, and whilst he’s fine apart from a beard full of stitches, it has opened up the conversations about how we are going to collectively support my parents as they move into their next phase of life. On the other hand, easing of some lockdown restrictions and a change in weather means I feel a little bit less like a rat in a cage. So overall, onwards and upwards.

The start of a new financial year – summer is on the way (sort of)! Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

Budget wise, it’s been a mixed month. My daughter’s birthday is in May, and with the reopening of things – or at least the expectation of reopening – my thoughts have turned to booking in plans for the summer. So whilst I didn’t really overspend for April itself, I have spent a lot of money on May-July. We did have one day where the malls reopened, and we went shopping which is unusual. I felt so giddy: look at all the shops! Look at all the lovely things! What if we have to get stuck at home AGAIN and we haven’t bought knitting needles!? So we managed to spend about £60 with no plan. And then we went back to avoiding malls.

Item Monthly BudgetSpend April% of monthly budget
Childcare costs £           1,100.00 £       572.7152
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £              125.00 
Charity £                 66.67 £          14.8822
Eating out £              120.00 £       167.57140
Entertainment – subscription £                 50.00 £          84.97170
Entertainment £              100.00 £          17.7318
Kids – extra curricular £              250.00
Family £                 50.00 £       183.85368
Groceries £              400.00 £       736.91184
Holidays  £              300.00 £    2,154.87718
Insurance £              200.00 £       127.0064
Personal care £                 30.00 £       231.84773
Shopping – general £                 25.00 £          60.12240
Shopping – gifts / birthdays £                 58.33 £       301.31517
Shopping – clothes £                 29.17 £          30.73105
Rent and Bills £           1,500.00 £    1,500.00100
Transport £                 41.67 £          87.80211
Utilities £              200.00 £       193.2297
TOTALS £        4,645.83 £    6,473.92 

So, once again I overspent my budget, spending £6,473 against a budget of £4,645:

  • The majority of the addition was holiday costs where I spent £2,154, making the non-holiday total £4,319 which I don’t feel too bad about. That is a LOT less than I spent last year because I wasn’t bounced into booking whatever holiday clubs were left. It covers six weeks of holiday clubs (three per child) doing a mix of swimming, football, trampoline camp and a STEM camp for my daughter which looks awesome. It also covers flights to the UK and a week’s Air BnB for me to go and spend some quality time with my friends which, let’s be honest after 14 months at home, I am desperate for. So I am pretty pleased. I will need to hire a car, and spend some other bits but that should be the bulk of the holiday spend. All in all though I definitely under budget for holidays and I will need to make a plan since I have spent the entire annual holiday budget.
  • I spent again on personal care including visits to the dentist for all of us. This is something I should be able to claim back, but for now I will leave it here and balance it at the end of the quarter. For now I have lovely clean teeth and a sticker which says ‘I was brave at the dentist’.
  • I spent about £300 on gifts which is mostly for my daughter’s birthday, but included a few things for friends and family who are far away and having a hard time. I try to concentrate on being lovingly in touch with people by phone and message, but sometimes a little something in the post can make a big difference, so I am ok with spending money here.
Getting that giddy spring feeling. Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash
 Monthly saving planApril% of plan
Mortgage (UK house)  £                500 £              500100
Mortgage Overpayment  £                500 £              500100
Emergency Fund  £                  100 £               100100
ISA £               1,250 £               50040
Kids savings £                   248 £               248100
SIPP £                   300 £               300100
  £   2,898.00 £ 2,348.0087

So what did I save? Again I focused on getting the last of the money together for our house move in July, so I have saved the removal costs and some extra for getting things painted etc. So there is nothing amazing in terms of savings this month but I carried on with the usual basics which is still savings (or paying toward capital) of £ 2,348.

So this month, a very unimpressive savings rate of 20% compared to spending 80%. In theory though I should be able to to save more over the coming months since those big holiday costs are paid out, so I will make a plan to do so. And head back toward more conscious spending once the thrilling spring feelings start to wear off.

How was your April? Would love to hear from you!

More Copenhagen spring beauty. Come on, you feel it too!