In my last post I was talking about getting inspired to work on future planning. I always end up focusing at strange points when I get in to visioning and planning: either very granular and what-do-I-need-to-do-today or totally random fantasy visioning. I wanted to spend some focused time thinking about all the different aspects of my life and where I want to be in five years, to give me something to work backwards from.

I will be 47 in five years time. That feels horribly close to – well, just close to being dead. I don’t know why 47 sounds so freaking old compared to 45 and whilst I did think about doing a three year plan just so I could feel better about it, it was a good moment to face my fears and remember that aging is such a privilege. My kids will be 17 and 13: and parenting teenagers, preparing them for this world of ours, is a whole other thing. But it’s also a phase I want to be present for to support them – and enjoy their company – as they get ready to fly.

So I wanted to start with the vision. I organised my thinking into nine key areas: health, career, money, family, relationships, social, spiritual, home and service. I then spent my journalling time this week just thinking about these nine areas, and letting my imagination take me wherever. I found this quite challenging as I think I have a very clear vision, but I have clarity on a few random bits and lots of missing pieces.

For about 10 years I’ve had the same vision. It is literally a snapshot image of my future – I don’t know where it came from but it simply and neatly encapsulates all of the aspects. I am in my house in Nairobi, walking to the front door to welcome some friends coming for dinner. I’m so comfortable in my body – wearing a fairly simple grey dress but it really shows off my figure; my heels are comfortable (this is how we know it’s a fantasy) and my hair is up. I’m walking through to the hallway and noticing how much my home feels like me: the beautiful fabrics, the light, happy family photos and collected paintings on the wall. I’m looking forward to an evening with great company, there’s delicious food to enjoy together with my friend and my kids. There’s a palpable sense of peace. As I get to the hallway, my partner stops me briefly, kisses my neck and smiles.

And that’s it. But I find that vision of my future so completely compelling that I feel like I’ve been making moves towards it for more than a decade. Sometimes it feels too little to hope for, and sometimes it feels too much. But either way, it is more likely to come true if I have a more focused approach to getting there.

So – more specifically, where do I want to be? I worked through the nine areas and really thought about where I want to be in five years. And I came up with the following. Again – I don’t know if it’s to want too little or too much, but for now, this feels like me. The only hard one was relationships because there’s something about expressing a desire to have a partner which makes me really squeamish. Partly there’s something needy about it – we aren’t supposed to want these things, just to hang around looking pretty and disinterested until someone chooses us and we swoon. But also partly because I am really happy single, and wanting something else feels like a diminishment of this. Enough caveats though: let me just say it’s something I would like, and I am not embarrassed about that. Shame is for amateurs.

The five year goal setting

Health Healthy and well, taking care of myself Happy and comfortable in my body Fit and confident in my movements and physique Well dressed and put together but confident enough to not have to do this all the time Starting midlife proud of how I look and feel, in a good mental health space	Money Taking home $15,000 per month based on either employment, passive income, business or consultancies UK mortgage paid off and generating passive income Guaranteed £40,000 per annum pension income on retirement even if I don’t contribute more Able to cashflow all needs or receive benefits to same amount	Career Doing work which builds on my existing skills, gives me fresh challenges, and creates positive impact If in an organization, senior enough to make a difference to the culture If in business/self-employed, passionate and capable enough to be building toward scale and impact Inspiring and motivating others in the sector
Environment/home Be living in Kenya, preferably in a house I have bought somewhere near the city but that feels like the country Be comfortable at home, have a calm environment where there are always people around the kitchen table Spend time in nature	Relationships Be with a partner with the same level of aspiration, ambition and care that I have for my life (including my sex life) Feel secure and cherished, without fear	Family Connect fully with family including moving past previous issues where relevant Be raising healthy, happy, conscious children who are a force for good in the world and growing towards independence but secure at home and in their sense of self
Social Stay connected to my core friendship group, making an effort with those people who live far Spend my social time mindfully in a way which nourishes me and lives my values	Spiritual/wellbeing Living life from a place of gratitude including through prayer, meditation etc Make spiritual connections / community, whatever that looks like	Service Actively engage in service around community issues which are meaningful to me Ensure strong family care Care about and engage in politics, whilst not drowning in it

It was a really interesting exercise. I don’t think any of the aspects were surprising, but I liked how congruent they felt – and how much they gave me a sense of calm focus.

Next week I plan to work on money and career, and start mapping out a bit more in terms of shorter goals and steps. Aluta continua!