personal finance

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What is this blog about, and who is it for?

/ Gracie Sunderland

What is this blog about, and who is it for?

This blog was born because I couldn’t find anything like it. I started it as a single British woman in my late thirties, living with my two primary age children when we had just moved to Denmark. As of 2024, I am in my mid-40s, with all the joyful tween and teen years for my children that entails. And whilst we are still in Denmark, my career means that I expect to move countries in the coming years.

I started this blog through a love and interest in the Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE) community. However, whenever I needed advice or a community to talk to about being a great single parent, living on a budget, or planning my side hustle, I struggled to find information that resonated. Sometimes it was because I’m single; other times, because I felt I had a different ethical approach which I didn’t see reflected. If you have similar needs, or just want to see a real story of personal and financial growth during what sometimes feels like times of real challenge, I hope this blog can be a great space for you too.

I cover several main topics focused on financial independence, personal finance, social justice and lifestyle management all through my own personal journey:

My Personal Financial Journey: I walk you through my own experiences and challenges as a single mother working towards financial independence. This includes dealing with emergencies, budgeting, and managing household expenses​, as well as making long term financial decisions for my children and wider family.

Financial Tips and Strategies: Whilst I don’t give advice I aim to provide practical thoughts on money management, including tips on setting up an emergency fund, being savvy with money. I also share how I try to spend mindfully toward the life I want to create, whilst optimizing on spending like meal planning, travel, and activities with my children.

Financial Planning: I also share my own journey of planning for the short, medium and long term, looking at retirement planning, raising money savvy kids, and preparing for my children and other loved ones’ financial futures. A lot of this links to career planning and how (and why) I think about getting to ‘work optional’.

FIRE Community and Inspiration: Whilst not everything resonates, I have found a great FIRE community  with a lot of inspirational stories and resources from well-known figures in the community, such as Tiffany Aliche (The Budgetnista), Paula Pant, and Mr. Money Mustache. I also regularly share recommendation for podcasts and books that are helpful for financial education and inspiration based on what I am finding interesting and useful as my journey continues.

Policy and Social Justice: Personal finance might be personal but it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. I aim to explore policies and trends which impact on our money including cost of living issues, issues impacting the stock market, and changes in budgets and taxation relevant to a UK audience. I also focus on social justice and how I understand that neither how we make or spend money is the same for everyone.

Goal Setting and Accountability: I highlight and give tips on the importance of setting realistic financial goals, having an accountability partner (and what that looks like for single parents particularly), and staying focused on financial plans is a recurring theme. I share my own goal-setting process and regular reflections on progress, both financial and how I am feeling about it all.

Disclaimer: The content on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as financial advice. Please consult with a qualified financial advisor before making any financial decisions.

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2024 Financial Goals

/ Gracie Sunderland / Leave a comment

I don’t like to be rushed 😀 Which is why I’m sharing my financial goals now, three weeks into January. I’ve also been having fun over on my Insta – come join me there for daily tips on finance, saving money, food, mindfulness and more.

In all seriousness – showing up whenever you are ready is fine. There is a lot to be said for just doing it now, and evidence suggests that a lot of people don’t reach their financial (and other goals) because they are procrastinating. But getting to it when you are ready and in the right mindset, rather than on an arbitrary deadline, also puts you in charge.

So let’s focus on getting this done now. I set my financial goals on a call with my accountability partner a couple of weeks ago, and have been fine-tuning them since then. Before I dig in I wanted to share some reflections on discussions with this community and things I have noticed about previous years – these three things are totally linked, and can become a vicious cycle so it’s worth digging into them if you feel stuck:

Don’t procrastinate. Yeah, yeah – getting to things in your own time is different from just not getting there. You know in yourself when you’re getting into the right mindset or moment, and when you’re lying to yourself. This is wher an accountability partner can be great – someone to call you out, lovingly, when you are still ‘waiting for the right time’. With financial issues, procrastination can cost you big time. Compound interest means that the earlier you make a move to save and invest, the more the money will grow to. Inflation means that the money in your hand will likely never be worth more than it is today. Not paying off debt increases the amount you spend on interest (and likely the stress in your mind). Are any of those costs worth it?

If there is anything holding you back, I strongly advise you to find out why you haven’t done it yet – think about your money mindset. People don’t procrastinate because they are lazy or stupid – we all have things which hold us back from making moves, even if they are so embedded in our subconscious that we don’t really understand them. You may be held back by fear or shame (what if I find out I spend all my money on nonesense and I’m embarrassed about what I have wasted up to now?) or by limiting beliefs (What’s the point in budgeting for my food shop – I’m never going to make enough for my big dreams anway). Or by the sense that you’ve tried this before and nothing has stuck. All of these are totally understandable, but they will all just hold you back. So dig into how you feel and spend some time getting your mind right.

Dreaming big is amazing, but make sure it feels meaningful, rather than feeling overwhelming. Setting huge goals is a big driver for many people, and I definitely don’t advocate playing small when setting out your ambitions. Part of the work is to come down a level or two from the big goal and set out smaller approaches on a timeline. I always try and set goals which are realistic with stretch – they aren’t so easy that they will happen even without me getting behind them, but they aren’t so insane that it’s less ‘doing the work’ and more ‘wishful thinking’.

For me, 2024 is a strange year financially as I have to move jobs. My company has mandatory rotation (i.e. you can’t stay in one place for more than five years – it’s more complex than this but this is what it means for me right now) and I haven’t been with them long enough for them to have to find me a job. So by 1st January 2025, I could very easily be out of work. There are many reasons why I don’t believe this will happen, but I do have to find another position, and it will 90% certain mean moving countries. This isn’t unusual for the kids and I, but it’s not very relaxing and also means making other choices with money which prepare for a time when I might not be earning. In addition, my son starts Year 11, or his GCSE exam year in the summer of 2024, meaning if I don’t have a job yet I might have to stay without work until the summer of 2025 when he is done, and move then.

So many moving parts! But my aim is to set financial goals and be ok with trying to get a strong foundation in case the worst happens, whilst preparing for the best.

These might all seem somewhat woolly, but for me this is the first step. Looking at how to save more, be accountable, and stay focused, comes next in terms of building out detailed approaches. But for now I am happy that I have enough focus, and optimism, to make 2024 work for me.

How are your financial goals looking?

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2023 Savings Review

/ Gracie Sunderland / Leave a comment

Last week I wrote about how I spent my budget in 2023 and this week I want to dive into my savings and investments.

I wanted to start off (because I know you love a relaxing subject) by reflecting on shame around money. There is a lot about this in terms of getting over feeling shame or guilt about having a low income, or having money troubles and that’s a really important conversation. My own family story with money is a mishmash of being low income with middle class aspirations, meaning that between my family and the people I grew up with had very different incomes, aspirations and feelings about money. I also work in a ‘helping’ industry where there are expectations that we shouldn’t earn as much as e.g. bankers because we are working for a higher purpose and should do it for the feels and not for the remuneration.

So there is a lot mixed up in how I feel about money. On one hand, I am working in a job which helps people, and which I got after working almost 20 years in jobs which paid around the median wage whilst studying on the side as a single mum to achieve, and pay for, a Masters and PhD. On the other, I recognise that I significantly outearn pretty much everyone I know. I guess this would be different if I was in the USA, where every single caller on the financial independence podcasts I listen to seems earn a similar amount to me.

This is a topic I will likely come back to, but I have been uncertain about posting both my spends and savings for 2023, because I am not sure how I feel about being public on an area which has so much judgement. But to make this blog useable and useful, it strikes me that real numebrs are better than theory. So with your kindness, here we go.

Total savings 2023
SIPP personal pension (invested) £                3,600
ISA savings (invested) £              15,000
Work Pension (pre-tax – invested by company) £              15,552
One year living expenses (cash) £              48,029
Total Saved 2023 £              82,181
Children’s savings
Childrens’ ISA (invested) £                2,800
Childrens’ Junior Pensions (invested) £                1,200
Total Saved 2023 £                4,000
Average monthly savings £                6,848

I have to say that I am pretty happy with that. Compared to my spending of £88,344, savings of £82,181 means I saved almost 50% of my income. This is significantly better than other years, and definintely something to aim for moving forward. This has also been the first year I had zero debt other than my primary mortgage – in 2021-2022 I was paying off a bridging loan I had needed to buy this house, and in previous years was significantly overpaying on the mortgage for my rental. So there was definitely more available to save this year, though all those actions contributed to my net worth.

There need to be some tweaks to how I manage things, based on changes and additional risks in 2024, so I will use this information to guide my planning and goals for 2024.

But I am both proud and slightly guilty at the same time. So something else to work on too!

How was your savings rate in 2023, and how do you feel about it?

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Walk with integrity: but where you going?

/ Gracie Sunderland / Leave a comment

This week I have been thinking about a bunch of things: how we know who to trust, and what happens when we’re wrong; how much trust we put into people we follow online and the extent to which they are actually selling us something; and the impact all of this has on being able to follow our own journey with integrity.

I fear these internal conversations are also turning me into a bit of an asshole. I especially hate being sold to. One of my reasons for getting involved in the FIRE movement is because taking control of your money is an act of radical subversion and radical self care. Deciding what you want out of life; what you will spend and how that will impact your community / planet / sense of joy; what role you will play outside of being a Worker Bee: all these are closely linked to your finances, and are absolutely the liberation pathway to living your life on your own damn terms.

There seems to have been a lot of slippage in the FIRE movement toward focusing back on personal finance in a more standard way. This is necessary to a certain extent: getting all existential is not the only thing you need if you are waking up in a cold sweat about your inability to service your debts. But sharing tools isn’t the only thing we are here for. Realistically, and I can say this as someone who consumes a fair amount of media on personal finance, social or otherwise, the tools and tips on personal finance are not complicated. It is the job of assessing them, working out what is right for you, and putting them into play which is hard. And for me, I could only put them into play once the existentialist piece was clear in my heart.

Remeber than not choosing your own path means you are implicit in whatever is swirling around you. Photo by Corey Young on Unsplash

A net result of this move back into the more standard world of personal finance is that I feel increasingly like I am being sold to by my peers. This isn’t to say that FIRE should exclusively be filled with people who have the time and resources to give away their advice for free, especially as this would mean only people who reach financial independence and then have that time – and who are disproportionately white, male and married, at least those who talk about it online – would share their stories. But I personally am not interested in buying an online course about real estate in the USA, or downloading a workbook which turns out to be ‘the world’s most basic questions ever.pdf’, or buying a product based on your ability to get commission on it.

It is more than that though. We have always been sold dreams, but these are usually other people’s. Surrounding yourself with these dreams, whether they are in the name of financial independence or in the name of being the kind of rich, flashy person who can buy up the bar, risks that you will drown out what you really want. The advertising industry is based on creating desires that can never be fulfilled: this year’s new iPhone that you might be lusting after will be out of date in a few months. Lifestyle envy leads to excessive consumption and waste, which is also leading to envirionmental degredation. We are trashing the planet for shit that doesn’t matter at all: for shit we probably don’t even want or get satisfaction from.

I am seeing a lot more of this combination in recent times. There is a Kenyan lifestyle and personal finance blogger who I have always liked (and is a friend of a friend, this Nairobi of ours has no chill). But I just can’t follow her anymore. There is the dual approach of selling through her personal brand, which is basically ‘you should strive to be pretty, well-dressed, and well made up, as I am – or you will not be interesting or taken seriously‘. The second approach is basically product placement, including MCing courses for other people, or pushing financial products. But there is literally no content. We are just invited to be voyeurs, buy what she recommends, and strive to be more like her. To be clear this is totally standard for an influencer so I am not singling her out, but it’s surprising to me (in ways it probably shouldn’t be) that so much of what was a vibrant and radical personal finance space is now full of this kind of approach.

Realistically, I am 42. It might literally be that I am too old for this shit, and whatever I strive for I am not going to be a hot girl. Probably I don’t fully appreciate the IG generation and therefore have no business getting all up in my feelings. Either way, honestly I am not eye-rollingly negative about people forging their path and doing well through hard work and passion, especially when they are clearly meeting a need with their audience. But I am concerned that we will find all we have left is our ability to be sold to, whether by the big companies or by our friends. And what it means when all this white noise is so loud that it drowns out our own truths.

Own your truth and say it out loud – even if it’s not the same as everyone else’s. Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

What this means for me is being more thoughtful about who I surround myself with, in real life and in terms of what I consume media-wise. It’s ok to not want what you are told to want, and to give those things no time in your head. It’s ok to be aware of the impact your life and choices have on others and have that be part of how you live with integrity. It’s ok to want more: and for that wanting not to be about the kind of consumer crap that might impress the table at the bar but about forging a real life, for the long term.

And it’s ok to recognise where you are different to others, and to recognise that this doesn’t make you better or make them bad: it just makes you both individual, beautiful humans doing what you can to follow your own star.

What might you need to change to get a clearer vision? Photo by Matt Noble on Unsplash
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New Year 4: You need (some sort of) budget

/ Gracie Sunderland

Well yeah it’s February but there are still 11 months left of the year, so don’t worry if your New Year’s resolutions are taking a while to kick off. As with everything to do with changing habits and mindsets – or indeed with personal finance – takes time.

In my previous posts, I promised to come back to the concept of budgeting. Lots of people start here but whilst I agree it is super important to know where your money is going and how to spend more mindfully, starting with the budget always makes me feel like it’s putting the least interesting bit first and there’s a risk you will get put off before you get to the thrill of setting yourself up for your dreams. That doesn’t work for everyone though, so do things in the other that you find the most inspiring.

You need to get excited, and to put your foundations in place: do whichever most turns you on first. Photo by Silas Baisch on Unsplash

There are equally a ton of different ways to create a budget and it depends on where you are with your finances.

Zero-Based Budgets

Best for: people with limited incomes, or challenges with spending habits

The idea here is to give every single penny of your income a job – to allocate it an ensure that it doens’t wander off by itself. It’s a monthly budget based on an assessment of all your fixed costs, then where you allocate funds to discretionary spending and to savings. Once this is done, all you have to do is track your spending and basically stop if you are about to go over any of your planned limits.

There is lots of information on estabishing a zero-based budget but all you really need to know is a detailed list of your income and usual expenses:

  • Fixed costs – the basics to keep the wheels on your life;
  • Discretionary costs – including groceries since how much we spend on this can vary so widely, along with things like clothes, cosmetics, entertainment etc;
  • Irregular costs – these could be either fixed, like a car service or discretionary, like an annual subscription, but you need to be able to plan for them (or choose to cut them out) or they will mess up your monthly plan.

Once you have done an audit of all of these costs and listed them out, take a really good look. Are you being realistic? Over-ambitious in terms of cutting costs, or too lenient? If you are at the point of making a budget it’s because you want something more important so focus on that instead of on feeling like you’re cutting all the treats out of your life. Building your future is literally the best treat you could have.

Budgeting is just organising what you have so it gets spent in the ways you intend. Photo by Andreas Näslund on Unsplash

50/30/20 Budget

Good for: people who want a framework then a bit more freedom, but are still getting started on a financial independence journey.

This is pretty similar to what I do, thought with the cost of childcare it’s more like 65/15/20. It’s a pretty simple way of guiding your money rather than tethering it down, which is why it is easier to do if you have some slack in your budget and aren’t troubled by impulse spending.

You set out your expenses into buckets: 50% for needs, 30% for wants, and 20% for savings. You will need to know your fixed costs, then be prepared to budget down on your needs so that they fit within your budget envelope. It’s a really good way to get started in terms of savings – or paying down debt – and trimming your budget in a way which helps you to build good habits. You will still need to roughly track what is going to each bucket during the month so that you can make sure that the ‘wants’ 30% isn’t going off track but you can also be secure in the knowlegde that you have covered all your bases, and you are living within your means.

Extreme Budgeting

Best for: those who are really driven by their goals and have flexibility. Or who love budgeting.

This seems to be a pretty common story in the FIRE movement, but it’s not something which has ever really worked for me. I could argue this is because of lack of flexibility though these are linked partly to my status as a single parent and partly to other choices, like staying in a career which prevents geo-arbitrage.

This is a huge leap from either of the other two, which are more focused on the basics of mindful money. Extreme budgeting can be done in fact with either a zero-based budget, or using different percentages with the same 50/30/20 approach but the focus is on drastically reducing spending. Here you would audit your spending then really interrogate it. What can ou cut back on? What would that mean for your life – moving house, selling your car, cleaning your own house? I like the focus on a Marie Kondo-esque focus on what brings you joy and cutting it out. There is often a focus on discretionary spending, but this can also be applied to your fixed costs – maybe that big house isn’t bringing you what you thought it would, and you can consider downsizing for example. As with all budgets, it’s totally personal, so for me one latte a week brings me joy so I buy one on Sundays whilst my daughter is at ballet class and really savour it: buying another one at any time feels like a waste of money rather than a treat, so I just don’t do it.

There are brilliant resources from people who live this way and have done brilliantly on their FIRE journeys. Try the Frugalwoods blog or book (which I love though the couples element personally puts me off a little) or try Michelle McGagh’s No Spend Year for a detailed and inspiring journey from the UK.

Find the joy in everything, even budgeting – you are owning your future. Photo by Taylor Heery on Unsplash

There are a lot of different options and you might need to try a few, or move on from one to another. The main thing is to get started: to be mindful with your money you need to know what you want it to do, and then intentionally guide where it is going. There is always going to be an element of tracking as well, especially at the start, and I will talk about tools for that too in future posts. Budgeting can feel like a tricky process to get started with, but it is putting you in control, and that’s a great feeling.

How do you do your budget and what tips do you have? I’d love to hear from you!