In January my son was hospitalised, and he has only just been discharged. It is heartbreaking to be living in this season, and the nature of his illness means that it might not be a season, but where we live from now on.

Everything has, of course, been put on hold, including this blog. We were already in a challenging place trying to work out my next job, where we will move to and this means that we have to just pause and focus on keeping us all as well as we can be.

One thing I am so grateful for, other than love from family and friends and living in a country with an amazing healthcare system, is how much financial stability has given me breathing space. I’ve always talked about how financial planning prepares us for disaster, but I never believed it would apply to me. I have seen my money plans as positive pathways to great futures – a way of buying freedom, and buying options.

But at this time, it meant that I could take time off work. I could focus entirely on my family and not worry about paying the bills or keeping us all fed and housed. And whilst I hope that I will find another job when my contract ends in December, my savings mean that I won’t have to move my son at a time when that would be detrimental to him.

It’s not the kind of peace and freedom maybe I had in mind, but it has meant so much. It has given me space to focus on love, and at the moment, that is all we can do.