2021 Inspiration List: books, podcasts and more

As this is the last Sunday of 2021 I thought I’d focus this blog on the things which inspired and kept me going during this year. As I said in 2020, I read a lot – and with the never-ending loop of lockdowns we probably all read a lot more – and whilst I carried on with real commitment to my regular schedule of 1930s murder mysteries and books about politics, I got through a lot of new things as well.

And it’s almost done. Photo by Nadin Mario on Unsplash

This was also the year I pretty much quit watching things. There are a couple of notable exceptions (and the family 30 minutes down time after dinner would not be the same without The Simpsons) but it just stopped being something I do on my own. I listened to a *lot* more music, and unlike 2020 spent more time hanging out with people: dating, going to a twice-weekly exercise class, watching the Euros and the World Cup Qualifiers in the pub with friends, at workshops, and back out on a travel schedule.

So it feels like its been a nice mix, and I hope some of these ideas spark some new thoughts with you too. Do let me know what has been inspiring you this year, I’d love to know!

Books

Mostly I read on my Kindle or get things out from the English section of the fabulous library here in Copenhagen, but I do love a Proper Book. Even though this was also the year that I aged disgracefully enough to need reading glasses, I still read every night before I go to sleep. Just these days I have to stay awake long enough to take my glasses off and not crush them.

All the links below are to independent bookshops, but these are available in most formats and places.

Atomic Habits: James Clear

This came out two years ago and I listened to a lot of podcasts and discussions about its content, but reading it genuinely changed my life. There is something simple but compelling about his messages: sort out the things that matter to you, whatever they are; be aware of the time-sinks, infinity pools and dross that this corporate world is sending you and block them out where you can; and find the minimum viable action then just do it. It’s a great antidote to overwhelm.

Four Thousand Weeks: Oliver Burkeman

I wrote about this recently but this was also a game changer for me. Burkeman posits that since the average life expectancy is four thousand weeks, we should find ways to focus on what we really care about. He presents a history of time management and also why it doesn’t really work. Linking this to our collective FOMO, Burkeman talks through why reclaiming your time can’t be done by reorganising your diary but needs to be done by rethinking priorities.

Untamed: Glennon Doyle

Ah the great feminist call to action. I loved this book so much that I read it three times this year. Doyle focuses on naming the ties that bind us as women moving in this world, and talks through how, in her own life, she has untethered herself. It is very clear as to why this makes the world a freer, fairer and better place for all of us – so if you are even vaguely interested in the concept of allyship, read this one.

Podcasts

I remained very much a creature of habit this year and will include those here for anyone new to this journey, but there were one or two notable exceptions:

Rice At Home: This is one of the new additions to my listening and I cannot recommend it highly enough – especially if ‘there’s rice at home’ is something you heard regularly as a child! The team had a few months off in early 2021 and came back strong, looking at black-owned business, entrepreneurship and financial independence from the perspective of peer learning and support.

Afford Anything: the inimitable Paula Pant continued to bring weekly wisdom this year, talking through the choices that we have to make with our money, focus and energy in order to make a life which suits us and where we really move.

Journey to Launch: I listened to this more in 2021 as she is some steps ahead of me. Getting into thinking about side hustles, passive income streams and the ‘what next’ of a financial independence journey is where I’m at, and her passion, personal story and diverse range of speakers is really inspiring.

Choose FI: this was another staple during 2021, though a lot of it starts to feel like conversations we’ve had before. It remains a really good basic resource (though I didn’t think much of their book…) and a great community for when you need dusting off and putting back on the path.

Blogs

I read many fewer blogs this year. I don’t know if people stopped writing after being so productive in 2020 or if I just ran out of bandwith. Lots of old blog friends also moved well past where I’m at and whilst I am super proud of them, I don’t find reading about post-FI useful. The one I did keep going back to was Our Next Life. I love their thoughtful reflections on life then and now, and also on the FIRE community and where we might collectively be going.

Music

Not strictly relevant, but this is where I got a lot of joy and energy from in 2022. So sharing just one, in case it’s something you need to hear.

Gangsta: Kojey Radical : perhaps not what you expect from the title but it’s a track about being raised by a single mum and growing into an amazing adult. Love everything about this especially the lyric: I wonder what the answer is / my mama said forgiveness is/ go handle your businesses. Big up all the single mums out there. We got this.

For some beautiful photos of Kojey and his mum you can read this full article.

Hope the last mile of 2021 is treating you well – I can’t tell you what a pleasure it has been sharing this year with you. See you on the flip side!

Frugal back-to-school planning

Ah September. Even though here in Denmark the kids went back to school in August, this still feels like the real back to school month to me. I always love this time of year anyway, the slight chill in the air but the chance of gorgeous late summer weather, and that brand-new-start feeling.

But it’s also a point where it’s easy to rack up costs, so I wanted to share a few ideas about how to save money.

And off they go! Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash

1. Work out what you need

Sounds obvious, but check what you need before setting out to organise it. Look up your school lists of needs and supplies, and check if they are all needed at the start of the year. My kids’ school asks for some strange things like boxes of tissues (and I always think … really?) but they don’t need text books etc thankfully.

2. Shop at home first

A lot of the things you need you might already have, especially if you have more than one child. Especially stationery where I feel like I have drawers full of pens, crayons, rulers and whatnot. You probably don’t need to buy new lunchboxes or backpacks, especially if you had good quality to start with. I saw a post on a FIRE site about a woman whose 25 year old daughter still uses the backpack she bought her in eighth grade – now that’s getting your money’s worth.

3. Then shop second hand

I put posts up specifically on the school Classlist when I need items for the kids, on the grounds that if mine need it, probably someone else’s will have too. My big things in September are rain and winter gear, given that we are in Denmark, and I bought from Classlist last year and from eBay marketplace this year.

Not my kid, but this is what back to school might look like. Photo by Deleece Cook on Unsplash

4. Organise a swap

My son finally has feet bigger than mine, but he seems to go up a size every few months. Since he plays a lot of sport this means new shoes, PE shoes, football boots and rain boots every. single. time. I refuse to buy any of these new but was struggling to find them second hand, so I worked with the school sports co-ordinator to organise a swap. It was really fun – we had all the boys (and it was mostly boys) bring in their old sports shoes and take pairs in their new sizes. It wasn’t great for the eldest boys with the biggest feet, but it was great for everyone else!

5. Use it as a teachable moment

The first part of this is for you to not get caught up in the hype yourself – it really doesn’t matter what ‘all the other kids’ are getting or doing. But then make sure your kids understand this as well: not just that spending wisely is a good idea, but that spending wisely also means caring less what other people think. My son came home last year and told me he was the only kid with a second-hand laptop, and it was a good time to talk through our values on things like consumerism, brands, tech waste, and how we treat our peers, as well as money issues.

6. Plan a budget for after school or clubs and stick to it

Extra curricular activities work differently in every school but dear lord they can add up to a huge expense. If you have to pay for extra-curricular activities, work out what you can afford and then be prepared to stick to it. I have various rules about clubs which the kids also clearly understand: if they sign up to something, you must do it for the period for which I have paid for it; they have to do at least one local club as well as those at school so they make local friends; and they have to do one thing which isn’t sports. But this is definitely the biggest expense for us in terms of new school year.

Photo by Oliver Hale on Unsplash

How has your back to school planning been going? I’d love to hear from you!

Budget Check In: June

Ah June. Long (it’s Denmark, so very, very long) days; al fresco dinners in the garden; the start of the summer holidays; *all* the football at the Euros; and the last month in our rental home. I knew June and July were going to be pretty brutal, and that has been the case so far. Trying to juggle work which is super busy, the kids and school or clubs (or ‘I’m boooooooored muuuuuums’) and moving house has been a huge pain. My ability to handle pain is probably evident in my overspending this month.

A note on my budget check ins: I was reading through the other check ins from this year and it felt a bit like watching a learner driver repeatedly start off doing pretty well, then start skidding around, and crash toward the end of the test, every. single. time. I know I’ve overspent every month, to a greater or lesser extent, and whilst I do a lot of hand-wringing at the start of the month I have always got good reasons (ahem) to go ahead with the spend anyway. Recognising this, I plan to do a budget and spend overhaul from September, giving me the summer to get settled in the new house and really work out what I am doing, my medium term goals, and – more importantly – a plan.

Half way through the year! Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

So how did it go? It wasn’t that bad, but I can see a couple of interesting choices glaring out from the grid below.

Item Monthly BudgetSpend June% of monthly budget
Childcare costs £       1,100.00 £          726.3066
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £          125.00 £                   –  0
Charity £            66.67 £            67.95102
Eating out £          120.00 £          165.23138
Entertainment – subscription £            50.00 £            18.9538
Entertainment £          100.00 £          335.39335
Kids – extra curricular £          250.00 £       1,276.11510
Family £            50.00 £          292.01584
Groceries £          400.00 £          657.84164
Holidays  £          300.00 £                   –   
Insurance £          200.00 £          493.99247
Personal care £            30.00 £            57.39191
Shopping – general £            25.00 £          539.492158
Shopping – gifts incl birthdays £            58.33 £          434.32745
Shopping – clothes £            29.17 £            15.0051
Rent and Bills £       1,500.00 £       1,500.00100
Transport £            41.67 £          173.74417
Utilities £          200.00 £          112.5156
TOTALS £   4,645.83 £       6,913.21 

So, once again I overspent my budget by A LOT, spending £6,913 against a budget of £4,645:

  • My mum finally managed to come and visit which was amazing but meant covering her flights, tests and so on. This was well worth it for the support it povided us during a challenging time, and since she is on a small pension there is no way I would let her cover this.
  • I paid out for my daughter’s three after school clubs for the 2021-22 school year since they opened the registration for current students and the spots fill up quickly. This cost £1,275, or about £127 a month for the duration of the clubs. Since all her friends (four of them!) have left school this summer and moved away (downside to the expat life) and things might feel a bit lonely for her, I figure that having some clubs where she also has friends will be comforting.
  • I had three big splurges, one of which was an accident:
    • Since it was the Euros football was on, and I LOVE football, I went to see most of the matches at the pub with friends. The atmosphere was amazing, and supporting both Denmark and England meant a lot ot good times. It also meant a £300 bar tab over the month.
    • We had a few colleagues in my team leave this month as well, some people who have been in the team for five years. We had a huge team dinner and I covered the bill of £350 with an understanding that we would work out how to share this – that hasn’t happened yet, but it will.
    • I, um, might have had a moment during a LEGO sale. It was half price and I have two LEGO-loving kids, so a £400 moment occurred. This will cover my son’t upcoming birthday and major Christmas gifts for them both, so I tell myself it was a good idea!
It might be coming home… Photo by Robert Anderson on Unsplash

So what did I save? Again I focused on getting the last of the money together for our house move including £3,000 for the removal men/house preparation etc , so I have just been putting extra into my current account to make sure the money is there for whatever comes up. No great savings news then, but at least I carried on with the usual basics which is still savings (or paying toward capital) of £ 2,348.

 Monthly saving planMay% of plan
Mortgage (UK house)  £                500 £              500100
Mortgage Overpayment  £                500 £              500100
Emergency Fund  £                  100 £               100100
ISA £               1,250 £               50040
Kids savings £                   248 £               248100
SIPP £                   300 £               300100
  £   2,898.00 £ 2,348.0087

So this month, again, an unimpressive savings rate of 20% compared to spending 80%. July will also likely be odd again due to the move but I am glad that at least I kept to the regular savings. I need to do a mid year review of our net worth, since I have moved a lot into the new house.

So how was your June? And your summer budget planning? I’d love to hear from you!

Beautiful June! Photo by Ann on Unsplash

Budget Check In: March

Spring is springing (it’s Denmark so it seems to happen pretty late). The weather has been beautiful, the evenings getting longer, and there’s a delicious smell in the air. Budget-wise March has two close family birthdays, mothering Sunday, Easter, and school holidays. I did calculate how much I had spent half way through the month, then once again had a massive splurge in the last week. I thought about it and realised it’s because I get paid on the 23rd of the month but budget per calendar month. For some reason I can’t cope with the thought of managing the month differently so for now I am going to try and be aware of my final-week-free-for-all and see if that works.

A quarter of the way through the year already! Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash
Item Monthly BudgetSpend March % of monthly budget
Childcare costs £           1,100.00 £         1,000.6291
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £              125.00 0
Charity £                 66.67 £              28.3843
Eating out £              120.00 £              90.1675
Entertainment – subscription £                 50.00 £            118.15236
Entertainment £              100.00 £              50.8051
Kids – extra curricular £              250.000
Family £                 50.000
Groceries £              400.00 £            714.38179
Holidays  £              300.00 £            329.89 
Insurance £              200.00 £            169.3585
Personal care £                 30.00 £            248.94830
Shopping – general £                 25.00 £              14.8960
Shopping – gifts incl birthdays £                 58.33 £            251.85432
Shopping – clothes £                 29.17 0
Rent and Bills £           1,500.00 £         1,771.00118
Transport £                 41.67 £            159.18382
Utilities £              200.00 £            186.1593
TOTALS £       4,645.83 £         5,133.74111

So how did it go? Better than February, worse than January. I spent £5,133, or 11% over budget. It could have been better, but could have been worse.

  • I absolutely beasted my grocery budget AGAIN which is infuriating. I managed to spend 180% of the monthly budget which is ridiculous. I realised I have one particular trap which is the fancy supermarket delivery service (only one place does this in Denmark and it’s way more expensive than my usual Lidl) – that added £200 with no real added value.
  • I spent a lot on personal care which I had hardly budgeted for. Thanks to working from home, both my son and I have developed back and neck issues and have to go to physiotherapy. He, lucky chap, gets to go to an osteopath: I get a scary Norwegian man who shouts at me whilst I do horrendous exercises. So I spent a lot more than planned but I do get back 80% from our health insurance company which means that the £250 I spent should actually be in budget when I get refunded.
  • My entertainment subscription budget doubled but it included an annual £50 subscription for the Guardian newspaper. Technically I don’t get anything from this other than a sense of supporting Proper News since it’s free to read anyway – maybe I’m prepared to pay before it hides behind a paywall. Anyway, I could stop this cost but I am prepared to keep it for now, at least in solidarity.
Spring time sunshine and sakura. Photo by Arno Smit on Unsplash
 Monthly saving planMarch% of plan
Mortgage (UK house)  £                500 £              500100
Mortgage Overpayment  £                500 £              500100
Emergency Fund  £                  100 £               100100
ISA £               1,250 £               50040
Kids savings £                   248 £               248100
SIPP £                   300 £               300100
  £   2,898.00 £ 2,348.0087

And what happened with the savings? I reduced my budget on this because I was saving for the house costs – the deposit is all there but the costs like the lawyer, removal men and so on don’t come cheap and I need to be ready. So an additional £2,000 went to that making a total savings of £4,348.

Overall I spent 54% and saved 45% which I am very happy with, even though some of the spending lines took a bit of a kicking.

How has your March been? I’d love to hear from you!

Budget Check In: February

My second proper budget check in (having been blogging for 14 months. Small victories). And a lovely short month to focus on, after January which seemed to last 3100 days instead of 31. However, it did contain the February half term holiday; and an even-more-enormous-than-usual heating bill after I did the meter readings and it turned out we used a whole heap more than anticipated in 2020. This was also the month that we had to pull the house deposit together. But here we are: a check in of spending and saving for this month.

Month 2! Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

I carried on the habit of tallying up the budget weekly, which I found really helpful. What I also noticed was that I do well throughout the month then have a sudden splurgy freakout in the last week and get takeaways etc and generally let loose. I had never really understood that I did this, and it’s so helpful to identify habits like this and be able to work on them.

So, how did we do?

  • I spent £6,164, or 133% of my monthly budget. This clearly sucks. There were three issues this month: £700 on winter tyres (I didn’t need them last year, but with temperatures of -9 and weeks of snow and slush, this year I really did). We also went on holiday for the February break, which cost £978, sharing a holiday home with another family just a 90 minute drive away. This felt expensive but it was totally worth it to spend time with others, somewhere with a heated pool and a hot tub. Money well spent having not spent a night away from home since June. Finally, we had a monster heating bill of £1,000 which will be the same every quarter this year. Blimey. We got all the old jumpers, socks and blankets out the day I got that bill, so fingers crossed that we won’t have another such bill next year.
  • There were some smaller over-spends against the monthly budget but these should work their way through. I spent £100 on a birthday gift for a colleague where others will pay me back; and another £100 on a series of exercise classes prescribed by the doctor, where my health insurance should cover the cost. Starting that exercise class is hopefully a step on the road to a healthier me, but oh my gosh it’s total hell.
  • But there were also lots of areas where I was well under the budget, and I spent 104% of the grocery budget which is the closest I have come to sticking to this one and which I am proud of! So, some gains in spite of the overall overspend.
Winter tyres. Surprise huge payment! Photo by Sid Ramirez on Unsplash
February
Item Monthly BudgetSpent Feb% of monthly budget
Childcare costs £         1,100.00 £          730.0066
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £             125.00 £          731.82584
Charity £                66.67 £             25.8339
Eating out £             120.00 £             92.7177
Entertainment – subscription £                50.00 £             37.2474
Entertainment £             100.00 £             16.0216
Kids – extra curricular £             250.00 £                     –  0
Family £                50.00 £                     –  0
Groceries £             400.00 £          417.87104
Holidays  £             300.00 £          978.41326
Insurance £             200.00 £                     –  0
Personal care £                30.00 £             73.45245
Shopping – general £                25.00 £          134.12536
Shopping – gifts incl birthdays £                58.33 £             86.00147
Shopping – clothes £                29.17 £                     –  0
Rent and Bills £         1,500.00 £      1,500.00100
Transport £                41.67 £          101.16243
Utilities £             200.00 £      1,240.24620
TOTALS £   4,645.83 £      6,164.87133%
Savings though – am I sitting on a pile of cash yet? Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash
 Monthly BudgetFebruary% of plan
Mortgage Capital  £                    865 £                 865100
Mortgage Overpayment  (actually deposit this month) £                1,250 £                100080
 Emergency Fund  £                    100 £                100100
ISA £                1,250 £                50040
Kids savings £                    248 £                248100
SIPP £                    300 £                300100
  £   3,148.00 £ 3,013.0087

Whilst the savings rate doesn’t look as good, I didn’t count up everything extra that I paid to my deposit for our house in Denmark, which all had to be in the account by the end of this month and which is in place! That’s £90,000 as a down payment ready in the bank, waiting for a big decision next month. I struggled to get the last little bit in place, so even though it looks as though I saved less than planned I am pretty confident that any additional money trickled into the deposit account and will count as capital at some point!

Overall I saved 34% of my income, and spent 66% which is a little worse than planned.

Hopefully this is because of money spent – such as on the car – where it will balance out over the course of the year. And I am proud of some of the areas where I have been able to really control my spending and starting to see changes, such as grocery spending.

How was your February? I’d love to hear how its going!

Budget Check-In: January

In the spirit of trying to be more self-accountable, here are the monthly figures. I have to say I feel quite proud of having actually engaged with the budget during the month – I do realise that’s the point, but as noted I have tended to treat my spending tallies more as a summary of mistakes rather than something I can use to tweak behaviours and get back on track.

About to end! Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

I have been tallying up my budgets weekly and found it really helpful. It also takes such a short time, and removes The Fear of having to suddenly spend four hours pulling it together at the end of the month.

So, how did I do? Not badly in some ways but not great in others:

  • I spent 95% of my monthly planned budget, or £4,414 out of a planned £4,645. In some ways this is great since it’s under budget – but looking across the lines it’s clear I should have spent even less. Some annual costs (such as kids’ extra curricular activities) are budgeted for monthly but I didn’t spend anything this month, meaning in theory that at some point I will overspend if I don’t pull it back from elsewhere. I spent quite a bit on gifts but January is birthday heavy for us so this one should work out.
  • I still spent 150% of my grocery budget. This is SO ANNOYING – I was at almost exactly £400 on 30th January but we had a birthday dinner to host today so I went crazy in (the most expensive) supermarket. I knew as I was doing it that I was already regretting it. Something to continue working on, clearly.
  • We hadn’t planned for the impact of Brexit. I feel like, in the words of Lily Tomlin, it’s going to get a whole lot worse before it gets worse, but the immediate impact was that we couldn’t watch the telly. I might appreciate that this is small beans compared to, well, so many other things, but – the telly! We normally watch Prime, through my UK account, and pay additionally for some channels. 1st January – nada. I spent a frustrating amount of time trying things out (turns out you can’t get Brit Box in Europe, since apparently it’s only available in Anglophone countries) and did the single mum thing I hate – asked One Of The Dads to help since technology is a Boy Thing. Shakes fist at self. So I ended up buying an Apple TV box, cancelling my Prime subscription and trying HBO Nordic. We don’t have terrestrial or cable TV so I don’t mind paying for *something* but this was not budgeted for. It turns out my mum also won’t be able to send over gifts for the kids (or me) in the same way, so watch this space for the reign of terror which begins when I run out of marmite.
  • The kids’ schools are closed since Christmas and after a few weeks my son started to get neck pains. So whilst we had laptops from last time, my shopping-general budget took a hit to buy mice/keyboards/ whatnot to set him up, and a webcam for us both so we can use a proper monitor. I managed to find an old monitor and some bits and pieces, and we asked first on the local freebie marketplace, but still had to fork out.
  • There are still some things I haven’t budgeted for. Almost the entire ‘family’ spend this month was on helping out a very old friend. I can afford to do it, and he has done the same for me in the past, but it wasn’t anywhere on the list.
Item Monthly BudgetSpent Jan% of monthly budget
Childcare costs £         1,100.00 £             790.5472
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £             125.00 £                99.5080
Charity £                66.67 £                25.6338
Eating out £             120.00 £             104.2287
Entertainment – subscription £                50.00 £                72.77146
Entertainment £             100.00 £             340.09340
Kids – extra curricular £             250.00 £                        –  0
Family £                50.00 £             170.39341
Groceries £             400.00 £             597.15149
Holidays  £             300.00 £                        –   
Insurance £             200.00 £             127.8764
Personal care £                30.00 £                47.02157
Shopping – general £                25.00 £             165.37661
Shopping – gifts incl birthdays £                58.33 £             167.97288
Shopping – clothes £                29.17 £                        –  0
Rent and Bills £         1,700.00 £         1,638.5796
Transport £                41.67 £                67.46162
TOTALS £   4,645.83 £   4,414.5595%
Enjoy the little things – like British TV? Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash

With that done, what did I save?

 Monthly PlanJanuary% of plan
Mortgage Capital  £                    865 £                    865100
Mortgage Overpayment  £                1,250 0
 Emergency Fund  £                    10015001500
ISA £                1,25050040
Kids savings £                    248248100
SIPP £                    300300100
  £   3,148.00 £   3,413.00108%

This went pretty much to plan. In January I had to move my house deposit over to Denmark and I lost some money in transaction and exchange rate costs. I also need to now boost my emergency fund as I’ve taken it down to £4,000 (or one month’s expenses). It’s definitely not enough in these uncertain times, so rather than focusing on my usual goals I need to spend a few months getting that back up to at least three months’ worth.

Overall I saved 44% of my income, and spent 56% which is a little better than planned.

Given the overspend in some areas, February should be a month of clawing back – though it does include half term holidays… Watch this space!

How did your January budget go? Feeling in good shape for the start of 2021? I’d love to hear from you!

PS – if you like British TV and don’t feel like your life has enough dystopian fear in then I highly recommend Years and Years (I am not paid for this – it’s just the best thing I’ve seen in a while. Terrifying).

Happy New Year #2. Budgets

In preparing for 2021 I spent some more time on my budgets. I’ve written about where I underestimated my 2020 budget before, and I have added in those changes – both the unknowns (utility bills) and the real underestimation (groceries). I also spent some time thinking about what matters to us as a family and where else we could make compromises.

This led me to some interesting conclusions. One of the things I love about the FIRE movement is that you tailor it exactly to you: your own wants and needs; what you find important now and in the future; and the options you see for your coming years. For me personally, I am always juggling compromises. If I want to work, I need to have childcare and the most likely thing is that I am going to pay for it. If I want to work in my chosen field then I have to travel, and have childcare which is available overnight and for days at a time. And so on and so forth. Setting budgets though helps me to think about those compromises and priorities, and how to get a balance that works for myself and my kids. I find it really empowering because it’s taking an intentional approach to money, and matching my actions to my aspirations.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

So for 2021 these are the things I am not prepared to compropmise on:

  • Childcare. We have a nanny who has been with us since my youngest was 3. With the pandemic and lockdown, I haven’t been travelling and haven’t needed overnight care etc in the way I usually do. But I still need childcare and value the care and engagement we get from our nanny, so this won’t change even though with all the additional costs (health care, insurance, travel) it’s not cheap.
  • Kids’ clubs. I was quite shocked about how much these are in Copenhagen, and I’ve gone back and forth about the right balance. Since my kids are only young once and working means I don’t have time to e.g. take them swimming every week, I have decided to keep this in but limit it two two per child. This means they get to see friends, do sports (and lots and lots of dance…) and keep broad interests whilst ensuring I am not going crazy on this budget line.
  • Holidays: I’ve kept in a decent line for this in 2021, though I hope it will be less since we have some vouchers from holidays we couldn’t take due to COVID which have rolled over to this year (well, fingers crossed that this happens and we don’t roll them over whilst staying at home FOREVER).

So what is the budget? It’s very similar to 2020’s actuals – a budget of £ 4,645 per month or  £ 65,618 over the year. The breakdown is planned as below – this is an average over the year where some costs are annual, and some come out in specific months etc:

 Annual PlanMonthly Budget
Childcare costs £              13,200 £            1,100.00
Car (insurance, tax, petrol) £                1,500 £               125.00
Charity £                   800 £                 66.67
Eating out £                1,440 £               120.00
Entertainment – media £                   600 £                 50.00
Entertainment – going out £                1,200 £               100.00
Kids – extra curricular £                3,000 £               250.00
Family £                   600 £                 50.00
Groceries £                4,800 £               400.00
Holidays  £                3,600 £               300.00
Insurance £                2,400 £               200.00
Personal care £                   360 £                 30.00
Shopping – general £                   300 £                 25.00
Shopping – gifts incl birthdays £                   700 £                 58.33
Shopping – clothes £                   350 £                 29.17
Rent and Bills £              20,400 £            1,700.00
Transport £                   500 £                 41.67
TOTAL SPEND £         65,618 £       4,645.83

To be honest it still feels like a lot.

However, the planned savings (shown below) mean that it would be another year where I spend 60% and save 40%. Again, this doesn’t include anything pre-tax, so money paid for health insurance, or my employer pension to which I pay around £17,000 per year:

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash
 Annual PlanMonthly Budget
Mortgage £            10,310 £                    865
Mortgage Overpayment  £            15,200 £                1,250
 Emergency Fund  £               1,200 £                    100
ISA £            20,000 £                1,250
Kids’ savings £               2,976 £                    248
SIPP (private pension)  £               2,400 £                    300
 TOTAL SAVINGS £ 41,776 £    3,148

This would put me on track to finish paying off the mortgage on my UK home by the end of 2022, earlier than I had planned, and to max out my ISA as well as paying into kids’ savings and a personal pension. So even though the spending is quite high, I am definitely working toward my financial goals.

The one unknown is housing. We’ve been looking to buy a home here in Copenhagen which would suck in savings (though this would become equity) and reduce monthly outgoings. So far, we have put in an offer and lost out on one home and we have an offer under consideration this week (please cross your fingers for me!). If we can’t find something by about March I will look to rent, since we have to be out of this rented house by July.

Once the housing is exactly known I will tweak the budget. I do feel like we could save more, and will keep coming back to the budget throughout the year to see what else we can trim away. Either way, we’ll keep on enjoying the free pleasures in this life, and the knowledge that we are trying to live mindfully. What’s your plan for 2021 and how are you going to stick to it? Let me know!

A beautiful (free) day out walking in the snowy woods in what we hope will become our new neighbourhood ❤

Happy New Year #1. Intentions

Woohoo, it’s here! After 2020 lasting for what felt like 91 years, 2021 has rolled in.

Truthfully though, in reviewing my 2020 I feel extremely blessed by how much I managed to drive forward on most of my goals. I fully recognise and appreciate how much of this was down to luck – to being in a stable job, to having found FIRE and got myself set up with an emergency fund which took the edge of the panic, and to being in a country where the approach to managing COVID was fast and easily understood.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

But I’m still excited about 2021 even though I absolutely hope that it is better for most people – and for humanity and for the planet. This is part one of two New Year blogs: this one covering intention setting, and the next one outlining specific FIRE goals for next year.

So where to start. A recent New York Times article suggested that people should aim small for 2021. Lots of commentators agrees that small is beautiful – in an interview with Glennon Doyle she talks about how small goals are easier to work toward, and easier to build into your life with grace ad confidence rather than creating new ways to beat yourself up about. Around 80% of people don’t stick to their New Year’s resolutions, so it’s clear that another approach is needed.

Focus on intentions before goals

So before getting to goals I want to focus on intentions. Goals are future focused, and brilliant for laying out a vision and planning how to get there. That’s a really important task, and with the small-and-kindly mantra above, it really works for me. But setting intentions are about mindfully living in the now. It’s the idea of setting out how you want to behave, to feel and to approach situations which you can come back to easily and often if you feel you’re veering away from your true north.

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

Intentions are simpler to come up with than goals since they are a heartfelt statement about who is your authentic self. Who is the real and brightest version of you? How would you need to show up each and every time to be that wonderful true self? Intentions are ways of nudging yourself gently back into that space. The fact that this is the space from which you are more likely to be able to achieve your goals is also great news!

And as I’ve written about before, so much of the FIRE movement is about mindfulness and living with intention. By taking time to think about who you are and what you want, the decisions you make are part of actively engaging with every aspect of your life.

Intentions 2021

So, what are my intentions for this year? I have focused on areas where I feel that I don’t ‘live my truth’ – where I get narky, stubborn, or downright unhelpful. These are all things which make me feel worse too, and where I spend valuable time and energy stressing about how I should have done things better. I’ve written these all in the present tense so they are immediately real and actionable at any moment.

  1. I treat myself with compassion and forgiveness, gently recognising and letting go of any shame.
  2. I nourish myself and others, my community, and the planet, by proactively being an active participant.
  3. I value and am grateful for the past that got me here, but I know I don’t live there any more: I am free to move beyond my past, with love.
  4. I easily and graciously give and receive love.
  5. I take each situation and each day with openness, courage and kindness, and amplify others doing the same.
  6. I take time to be and express gratitude and to celebrate myself and others, remembering that ALL of this is a miracle.

So – what do you think, is it worth setting intentions? And if so, what are yours?